You wanted an A but you got a B

“Let’s be honest. You got an A- but you’re still mad (…) You will almost certainly face more and deeper adversity.”

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook shared at a commencement speech at University of California, Berkeley.

She lost her husband a year and 16 days ago, and through the junks and possibly the lowest point in her life, she learnt that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again.

I lost my dad on 3rd January 2016. I woke up in the middle of the night during my staycation to a phone call. It was the only night in these many years I decided to switch the ringer to full volume and it rang, as though I was expecting it.

And I’ve since learnt a lot about myself, my personality, how I face challenges, how I’ve change the way I approach challenges so that I will be stronger for more that will come my way.

Sheryl Sandberg put it in a very simple but powerful sentence:

“The easy days ahead of you will be easy. It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are. You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.”

Every time sadness comes rushing in and trips me at the most unexpected moment during the day/night, I tell myself “If I get through this, I will only be stronger!”. I am only able to tell myself this because I accepted that I am not an emotionally strong person. Only when you accept your flaws (P.S. I’m anal about how people use the word “emotional” loosely with a negative connotation.) that you will be able to put some actions into improving and changing.

The reason why I am sharing this story for the first time online is because I want to encourage people to not be afraid of failures and losses. There will certainly be many more of such situations to come in life, always remember that you will survive and you will survive even bigger challenges ahead! If you can recognise that you are falling into the downward spiral of despair, you can catch yourself.

Gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience. Be grateful for how things can be worse but it isn’t. Appreciate the people around you but more importantly, appreciate yourself.

Read and watch more of what Sheryl shared, especially on the 3 Ps – http://www.techinsider.io/sheryl-sandberg-berkeley-commencement-speech-2016-5

 

Stop being jealous

It’s perfectly normal to be jealous of the success of others, especially those whom you think are not “that” much smarter or better than you are (or so you think).

Feeling envious of Mark Zuckerberg or any other billionaire startup founder and spurred on by them, is also a perfectly normal situation.

I’ve been there, the whole realm of jealousy. But we all know that is a tiring affair. And now, I don’t get jealous anymore (most of the time). I start to learn how to feel happy for others. The key to that is knowing what makes you happy. If success makes you happy, then define your success. It doesn’t necessary mean starting a billionaire dollar company, because I personally think that takes more than what you think to achieve, a lot of hardship, cold times, and a bucket full of tears/sweat.

Humans are born to want more. If we aren’t, then there isn’t globalisation, technology, improvements in the world, and you wouldn’t be reading this.

I recently learnt that, knowing what makes you happy is the key to happiness. And when you are happy with what you can or want to achieve, you will be happy for other’s success, instead of feeling jealous. Because that success is theirs to own, not what you want for yourself.

I am happy learning new things, working hard to gain a new skill, throwing ideas off different people, and having my daily coffee 🙂 I may not be successful now, but I am working towards happier days that sums up my life at the end of the journey. Baby steps yo!

Trying to come up with an out of the world marketing idea for the travel platform I am working on now, so if you have any crazy ideas, let me know! ANY, crazy ideas. No restrictions or boundaries.